Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
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just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
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VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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