just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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