I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
