My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
