What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
