I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
