god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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