she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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