ya dads aren't the best wingmen
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
