he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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