if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
