that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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