it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
