nut hugger
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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