why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
