My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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