walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
