Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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