i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I am midnight drunk by noon
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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