You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
