last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
