my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
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Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
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I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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