Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
