I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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