You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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