yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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