i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
worst night to have a conscience
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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