I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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