You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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