their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
