why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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