Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
