Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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