I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I would fuck him just for his dog
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