Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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