im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
