Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
