Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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