Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
