I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
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she pinky promised me she was 18
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
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I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
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