You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
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