I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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