South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
