i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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