Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
soo... how was my night?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
