Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
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