I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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