No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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