yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
