she takes plan B like it's going out of style
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
