If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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