He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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