I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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