We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
