We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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