garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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