I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
