so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize