drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
being pregnant is like rehab
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
