omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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