he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize