I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
