Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
