you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
