you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize