I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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