Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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