Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
