I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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