at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
