So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
