it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
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They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
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You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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