Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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