with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
