he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
