I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I think my moral compass just broke
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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