that's an acceptable place to lick
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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