Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
