There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
We named our party play list daddy issues
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
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No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
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You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today