The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
The maid of honor just puked.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
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Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
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Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.