You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing