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• (214): View more from Texas

  a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants

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• (239): View more from Florida

  just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one

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• 

  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just found my coat check number in my underwear.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car

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• (310): View more from California

  Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.

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• (408): View more from California

  I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.

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