ADVERTISEMENT

• (804): View more from Virginia

  Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?

  Fav 12 1213 785

  share tweet
  

• (803): View more from South Carolina

  i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.

  Fav 39 7209 1938

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (250): View more from British Columbia

  Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...

  Fav 8 3623 1496

  share tweet
  

• (773): View more from Illinois

  That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper

  Fav 3 2108 951

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (678): View more from Georgia

  As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.

  Fav 3 3086 1032

  share tweet
  

• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face

  Fav 7 847 2149

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  What time did you start drinking?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Maybe.

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Maybe isn't a time...

  Fav 14 6493 1222

  share tweet
  

• (662): View more from Mississippi

  What if our hands were octopus tentacles?

  (1-662): View more from Mississippi

  You're an idiot.

  Fav 17 2632 1005

  share tweet
  

• (760): View more from California

  You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker

  Fav 3 1334 603

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (646): View more from New York

  I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...

  Fav 9 618 1565

  share tweet
  

• (713): View more from Texas

  He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.

  Fav 2 640 493

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (313): View more from Michigan

  I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?

  Fav 14 614 864

  share tweet
  

• (810): View more from Michigan

  I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.

  Fav 2 148 293

  share tweet
  

• (850): View more from Florida

  I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.

  Fav 0 179 62

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?

  Fav 1 9 22

  share tweet
  

Randomize