you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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