So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
